Are You Happy Now?
by Raych
Summary: Brooke and Lucas had twins age sixteen and got married. Flash forward 18 years and see  what will happen when Peyton Sawyer an old friend of Brooke's comes to town. Begins BRUCAS goes to LEYTON, not sure end game couple as yet.
1. Prologue

**I know I should be updating Starting Over and Broken – and posting Superman Tonight but this idea just came to me after watching season six again. I hate how Lucas just writes off his friendship with Brooke after getting with Peyton and how badly they both treat her so I'm putting it right – in a slightly unexpected rather AU way. Despite my love of Brucas for all you diehard fans this may not be the fic for you, unsure of the ending as yet but looking likely it won't be Brucas.**

**The story starts with Brucas, Naley, Pake and Karen/Dan but these may all change as it progresses – well except Karen/Dan.**

**Basically the story starts when the characters being thirty somethings, Brooke was pregnant in season 1 and told Lucas before he dumped her for Peyton so Brooke never knew about their brief affair. Peyton's dad was offered a job across the country and she went with him. Mostly the high school years are the same and everything else gets explained. This is mostly Brookecentric.**

**I liked how Dan turned into a nicer guy with regards to Karen after Keith's death, he never really stopped loving her and I explore that in this fic a little. However in my fic Keith did die but Dan did not kill him simply because Peyton was not at THH so Lucas didn't go back into the school therefore Keith didn't go in on the day of the shooting.**

Brooke loved the first day of the new school year, she loved the crisp clean pages of the notebooks, the sharp pencils, the shining new book bag but mostly Brooke loved the feeling of relief. Relief that for a large portion of the day her children would be at school. Except this year was very different, while she was waving Natalie off to start her junior year in high school Aaron and Sam were both starting at the University of San Francisco. Aaron was studying criminal justice while Sam studied sports medicine. While it had been difficult to leave them she had been glad to see their efforts had paid off. Her beautiful boys had poured over research and later university applications in order that they attend university together simply because that was what they had always done. So identical in appearance and yet so different in personality. Except of course when it came to basketball. That was hardly surprising given their family though. She pulled her thoughts away from her eldest children and put her car into drive, glancing at the clock only long enough to confirm she was in fact running late.

She pulled into the underground lot of the Tree Hill newspaper and parked her car in her designated space. Thank goodness for small mercies, her position as managing editor came with the perk of parking space right near the elevator. Despite being harassed knowing she was late, the fact she'd not managed to speak to the boys on their first day of classes and the fact that she knew the Christmas supplement was well behind in the planning she couldn't help but smile as the elevator took her up the four floors between the parking lot and the floor on which her office was. She'd fought hard to convince Lucas that going out to work was the right thing for her when Natalie had begun middle school. Lucas' mother had worked herself incredibly hard when he was growing up just to make ends meet and while he admired that he also wanted it to be different for their children. The way he saw it was that he was earning enough money to allow Brooke to be there for the children whenever they needed her. A point of view she'd happily gone along with until Natalie turned eleven. The fact was Brooke didn't feel fulfilled by being at home all the time when the children weren't. The boys were in their final year of middle school and they all seemed to need her less and less. While the idea of working was a little daunting given that she'd been a mother before finishing high school, married just days after graduation and a mother again just months after that therefore had never actually had any experience of paid employment she could also see just how much enjoyment everyone around her found from their work. The people she loved had a sense of self gained from their careers and it was something she found herself craving, an identity separate from Lucas' wife or Aaron, Sam and Natalie's mother.

Lucas had after months of discussion finally agreed that if she'd really wanted it that badly then perhaps part-time employment wasn't such a bad idea – so long as it didn't affect the children too much. She wasn't quite sure how it had happened but he'd been the one to help her gain employment – on the same newspaper that he worked for. Lucas had gotten a job as a sports reporter on the Tree Hill Weekly straight out of college. It was a job that had seemed at the time made for him, he'd spent his time studying journalism at the local community college while she was at home with the children and he worked part-time at his father's dealership. Brooke had spent many a year thankful for Dan Scott's ridiculous generosity. He overpaid Lucas dramatically – it was as close to a handout that her husband's pride would have allowed him. While Lucas was a valued reporter he'd never pursued his career at the paper any further because he had decided relatively early on that being the boss was not what he desired. For him it was about the words, which is why staying on as a reporter with a steady income while writing his novel had been perfect. Lucas no longer needed to continue to work at the paper, his novels brought in enough with her income that it wasn't necessary. But he enjoyed his work. Particularly during the times he suffered writer's block with his novels. So given his good standing despite the lowly rank he occupied he'd obtained her a position as features columnist. She'd mostly covered fashion but it wasn't an area that was widely read in the Tree Hill Weekly and she'd discovered a desire for more. So in the five years she'd worked there she'd worked her way from features columnist to features editor to managing editor. There were still some at the paper who were convinced that she was only there because of Lucas' good relationship with Mitch the editor, but that didn't particularly concern her. She loved her job and knew she was good at it. There was nothing more she needed to say about it, others would always have an opinion.

As she strode through the office her secretary Millie met her and began to walk with her to her office. Brooke threw her coat onto the stand, placed her briefcase on her desk and pulled out the documents she needed. As Millicent continued to relay the morning's messages to her they both made their way to the conference room. Brooke as always was only half listening to Millie. She knew that the wad of post-its Millie was placing in her hands contained all the messages Millie was telling her currently. Just as she knew that once the meeting was over Millie would once again run through the messages as well as her appointments for the day. However just as she laid her hand on the door handle to the conference room one word from Millie drew her full attention causing her to pause.

"Did you say Peyton Sawyer?" Ever efficient Millie nodded her head. "Did she say what she wanted?"

"No Brooke, only that it was quite urgent you contact her as soon as possible. She did say not to interrupt any important meetings though so I assume it's not life or death." A hint of a grin etched itself onto Brooke's features. Peyton Sawyer. It must have been close to ten years since she'd seen the blonde. Peyton Sawyer had been the closest Brooke had ever had to family when she was younger. From when they met until when Peyton moved away with her father when she was sixteen – just a matter of months before Brooke had her boys – she and Peyton had been inseparable. They'd not seen much of one another since Peyton left Tree Hill, Brooke had been too busy with family and Peyton too busy with work. But they'd maintained contact and a relatively close relationship for two busy women who never really saw one another. Despite this regular contact Brooke was surprised she'd called her at work. Peyton and she rarely called one another settling instead for quick text messages or lengthy e-mails that were squeezed in between this meeting and that. Brooke knew by the end of her meeting the curiosity of why she was calling would be almost killing her – however she didn't have the time to return the call before the meeting. Instead she smiled at Millicent and went inside the conference room, she was the last there and Mitch raised an eyebrow at her followed by a glance at the clock.

* * *

Brooke sighed deeply cursing the traffic that was slowing her progress. Lucas' parents and sister were coming over for dinner and Brooke had suddenly realised she was without a key ingredient. Sometimes she wondered how she'd become a woman who was so utterly at home in her kitchen. When she was growing up there was always some member of paid staff in her parents' home to provide food for her, then after that there was Peyton's mom, and later after her parents had disowned her following the news of her pregnancy at age sixteen there was Lucas' mom. If Brooke was honest she'd learnt almost everything she knew about being a wife, mother and homemaker from Karen Roe. Karen had discovered she was pregnant with Lucas just before she graduated high school. His father had left them both and continued on to his dream life in college, within months of that happening he'd impregnated a woman called Deb Lee, who he subsequently married. Their son, Nathan, had been in the same clique as Brooke had been in at high school. It wasn't until their junior year that Dan Scott and Deb's marriage begun to fail. In the meantime Karen had finally realised her feelings for Dan's older brother Keith. Keith had supported her for Lucas' entire life. When Lucas and Brooke were in their final year of high school Keith moved in to the crowded house. Sadly Keith was killed only months later by a drunk driver. Karen was devastated – she was also pregnant. The death of his brother and the end of his marriage changed Dan Scott. Instead of being the bitter hateful man his own wrong choices had made him it gave him the opportunity to rise above the past and be the man he perhaps would have been if he'd stayed with Karen all those years ago.

Dan supported Karen through her pregnancy and her grief. When Lily was born he'd taken them both away from Tree Hill for several years, allowing Karen time to come to terms with the loss of Keith and providing an environment where in Karen fell in love with him again. During which time Lucas and Brooke had continued to live in Karen's home with their three children. By the time Dan and Karen returned to Tree Hill in time for Lily to start school Lucas was more than able to provide a home for his family. Karen had insisted that Dan give the huge house which he'd shared with Deb to her and move into her home stating she didn't want a big house, her cosy home and the people she loved was all she needed. It had been difficult for Lucas to accept his mother loving Dan again given all he'd done to them. But Lucas had done his best to move past it simply because he wanted his mother to be happy. But Brooke knew that what sealed the situation for her husband was in fact his little sister. Lily adored Dan, and Dan filled the role Keith's death had created in her life. While they were all careful to explain to Lily as she'd gotten older the truth Dan loved her as his own nonetheless. The situation almost mirrored how Lucas had felt about Keith. And so he'd allowed himself to build a relationship with his father.

Karen had of course been less than pleased to discover that she'd spent 16 years working herself into the ground to provide a good life for her son only for him to make the same mistakes she had. She and Karen had a rocky start to their relationship. But despite the animosity Karen had insisted Brooke come and live with them. During her pregnancy Brooke had allowed Karen glimpses of the childhood she'd had, which had given Karen and understanding of her and fostered a closer relationship. Brooke had relied so heavily upon Karen's help and advice when the twins were born that she had become like a mother to her. Lucas had often joked that she was closer to his mother these days than he was. Karen had owned a cafe back then and had even gone to study cookery in Italy. Without even realising it was happening Brooke had learnt not only how to cook but how much enjoyment could be found in it from Karen.

However the downside was Brooke constantly compared herself to Karen Scott, and usually she found herself wanting. Karen never seemed flustered by all her responsibilities like Brooke was. Which is why she usually planned the dinner's which were attended by Lucas' family with military precision in order to ensure nothing went wrong. She finally pulled her car into the parking lot, cursed again at how busy it was meaning she was parked a good half mile away from the store and almost ran the distance. Thankfully the store had just installed self-service checkouts which many people still avoided, Brooke wasn't particularly keen on them as something always seemed to go wrong when she used them on her own – never a problem when the children were there though – but today she was rushing and given she had just the one item she reasoned there couldn't possibly be a problem. Thankfully she was right and she rushed back to her car to drive home.

Brooke couldn't have been less pleased to walk into her kitchen to discover a bomb had hit. At the impact site stood her daughter. Looking rather angry and distinctly guilty. Brooke began the usual one to ten count in her head before finally asking what on earth had happened. Natalie then launched into a speech about something to do with home economics class and needing to practise because she'd boasted a long family history of being a fantastic chef but as Brooke well knew her daughter hadn't done anything meaningful in a kitchen since she was about five and baked brownies with her mother. The long and short of which being that Natalie had arrived home from school and decided that her grandparents and aunt coming over was the perfect opportunity to practice her cookery skills by making a simple apple pie. The only words in Brooke's head was questioning where exactly her husband had been during this farce. After instructing Natalie to get it cleaned and in future ask her for help when practising anything food related she went in search of her husband. Not surprisingly he was locked away in the attic in what had been designated as his study since they'd first looked at the house.

In fact as Brooke recalled the attic room was really rather a wreck when they'd viewed the house, the previous owners had tried to convert the attic into useable space – themselves. They'd failed miserably but she had seen the possibilities and had created within her mind a vision of how big, light and spacious the room could be. Perfect she'd imagined for two growing boys, with enough room for both their beds, closets and even a small seating area for when they grew older and had friends round. She'd won her husband round on the house that he clearly didn't see the potential in like she did. Only of course once the bare bones of the attic room had been created and Lucas had seen it he revealed that he desired the room for his study as it would be away from the hustle of bustle of family life so he would be able to write. The fact she'd become so successful in her career meant she'd been allocated a small area for storage of her work things but her computer and desk were relegated to a corner of the dining room. Lucas' study was indeed his sanctuary.

"Did you realise our daughter was planning on destroying the kitchen?" Lucas jumped and turned as she spoke. His boyish grin covered his features and she felt the frustration thaw a little.

"Natalie said she wanted to help out by making dessert – I thought it would be nice for you to have one less thing to worry about." Brooke shook her head, as much as she loved her husband she was the first to admit that Lucas did not view the world in terms of practicalities. Some would call him a dreamer though she knew it was wrong. Dreamer implied a nature that was not prepared to work or fight for that which was dreamt of. Lucas worked incredibly hard and had a steely determination to succeed – whether in his work as a sports journalist or his passion as a novelist. Brooke thought the term optimist was perhaps better suited. Lucas was optimistic about people's capabilities which allowed him to see the good intentions rather than the fact that they weren't up to the job in hand.

"As considerate a gesture as that was perhaps it would have worked a trifle better if you'd supervised her." Lucas was sometimes a little sensitive when she constructively criticised the way he handled things so she let her voice be as sweet as she could manage when inside she was on breaking point over the fact in just an hour and a half his family would arrive and she'd not even begun to make dinner, nor could she do so until she'd brought her kitchen to order.

"We live and learn." Brooke began the one to ten yet again, aware that at this rate she'd be better off just spending her life counting and seeing how high she went. She was well aware that she had always indulged Natalie, however nothing could compare to Lucas' indulgence where their daughter was concerned. Whenever Brooke had tried to question it over the last sixteen years she got the same response. She understood exactly how he felt when he looked at Natalie. She remembered the horrified looks she'd gotten during the last weeks of high school when news of her second pregnancy had hit. How utterly irresponsible they all thought, that much she knew. She could even agree to an extent. To the outside world one unplanned pregnancy while still in high school was irresponsible, but a second was lunacy. They should have been more careful for no one understood the consequences better than they did. Which of course was all true, but when several doctors tell you that due to an incredibly difficult delivery the chance of you ever being able to have another child is pretty much non-existent you don't really consider contraception being high on the list of priorities. She'd not really given much thought to what the doctors said at the time, after all she was sixteen and had just had two gorgeous twin boys. But after about a year the truth had hit them both, they would have no more children, both mourned for the daughter they knew they'd want someday and would not be able to have. Natalie's conception was hailed by the doctors miraculous. Her miraculous birth was the reason she was bordering on spoilt. But where Brooke tried to keep her the right side of spoilt Lucas could not resist giving her whatever she desired.

"That may well be true Lucas but your parents and Lily will be here in less than two hours and I can't possibly cook dinner in the pit that is our kitchen." His attention had turned back to his work before she'd replied and that act alone caused her blood pressure to go higher. She felt the vein at her temple pulse and throb and she wanted to scream. But that wouldn't achieve the goal.

"So just order take out. I'm sure no one will complain this once." Once again he spun to her with a boyish grin, but this time prepared she'd turned her head so his grin did not hit her. She rolled her eyes and began the count again.

"Lucas I need you to come and help me clean the kitchen, then I need you to prepare the drinks while Natalie sets the table and I make dinner. And I need you to do all this now – not 'in five minutes honey' which inevitably will turn into an hour. An hour which we currently do not have." His eyes narrowed at her and she knew it was down to the frustrated and slightly aggressive tone. She also knew that the words in his head were the usual retort – if you hadn't insisted upon working these things wouldn't happen. It wasn't that her husband was a dinosaur when it came to women in the workplace. He admired it in other women – just not her. She made allowances because of his childhood and she knew had she decided to work once Natalie had reached university rather than middle school he'd have supported her wholeheartedly. But she hadn't been able to wait that long to stake a claim on independence.

"You can explain to Lindsey why this next chapter is going to be late then." She bite back the remark that if sacrificing an hour meant a late chapter then clearly he hadn't been working hard enough. He was doing as she requested despite doing it bad humouredly and so she knew better than to push him.

It didn't take too long for Lucas to return to his jovial self thankfully. Brooke had the food in the oven, Natalie had the table ready and Lucas had the arrangement of drinks prepared just minutes before the chime of the doorbell. Brooke smiled to herself at the formality of it since she knew well enough that despite ringing the bell Karen would come in without waiting for anyone to answer the door. Not that Brooke minded, she didn't even bother with a knock when she went to Karen's – or Haley's for that matter. Natalie had whisked Lily off to her room for some teenage girl frivolity or other before Brooke even had chance to greet her niece. The girls were separated by just a few months in age, along with Jamie, Natalie's cousin and Lily's nephew they were born within four months of one another meaning all three would be disappearing from Tree Hill at the same time, leaving three sets of sad middle aged parents. Well not quite, Nathan and Haley still had eight year old Jilly, she and Lucas weren't quite middle aged and Karen and Dan were probably classed as being slightly past middle aged. It was a scary thought really that when Natalie was leaving high school Brooke would be just thirty four years of age, the same age Karen was when she had Lily. Brooke couldn't imagine doing it all again now. While she dearly loved her children the idea of starting from scratch just made her feel utterly exhausted. She instead was looking forward to all the things she and Lucas planned on doing, and rather joyously they were still young enough to enjoy every single thing they planned. While having children at such a young age had not been ideal and they'd suffered many a downside it did meant that from the age of thirty eight they would financially be beholden to nothing as all three children would have completed college and their level of responsibility greatly reduced as their children would then be adults. Brooke shook her head in amazement at the responsibilities some women took on in having children when they were forty somethings. She just wondered how they found the energy.

Dinner finished, plates cleared and stacked in the dishwasher by the girls and two bottles of red wine later the adults were once again left to their own devices. Lucas was most cheerful and Brooke finally had the opportunity to share her news with him, and Karen and Dan by default.

"Peyton called me today." Karen looked vaguely confused, Peyton had left before Brooke had been and established member of the Scott family so Karen and she had little to do with one another. Brooke guessed the last time they'd seen one another would have been her wedding sixteen years ago. Dan seemed mildly curious, his son had once dated Brooke's curly haired blonde friend.

"How is she? I can't remember the last time she called." Brooke smiled.

"About a million years ago, calls aren't really our thing these days. I was delighted to hear from her, particularly given her exciting news."

"Is she finally marrying that poor guitarist...is it Jake something?" Lucas was never really good with names, the fact he couldn't remember the name of the boy who'd extended the hand of friendship to him when he'd joined the Ravens in junior year was no great surprise to Brooke. Jake had left town shortly after Peyton to find his daughter. He and Peyton had met up around five years ago and been an item since.

"I doubt it very much since she's decided she's moving back home."

"Back home, to her father?" Brooke laughed at Lucas' naivety.

"Well she called to ask if I knew of any job opportunities in Tree Hill, of course I asked why and she explained she'd been toying with the idea of coming back and decided if there was no chance of work she'd take it as a sign, and if there was take that as a sign too. Well it just so happens we have a spot on the paper since Chase qualified as a pilot and I know it would be perfect for her given that it's a music spot so I offered her it there and then. She has to give a month's notice at her current job and put her house on the rental market but I can safely say my P Sawyer shall be back in Tree Hill by October."

"That's good for you Brooke, I remember how close you girls were." Brooke graced Dan with her rare but megawatt smiles.

"We really were, I can't wait to have her back. She's always been like a sister to me."

"In which case pretty girl I predict Peyton's arrival bringing only good things." Brooke smiled up at her husband as he dropped a kiss on her head and topped up their glasses. He was right she knew, having Peyton home would surely help fill the ache of having her son's gone. And she was certainly looking forward to discovering whether the delectable Mr Jagelski would be making an appearance with her. Good things were certainly coming.


	2. Chapter 1

**I realise some people may not like the fact that while I do ship Brucas I am writing a fic that starts Brucas and then goes to Leyton(Pucas). This fic is more about the exploration of relationships. I'm not entirely convinced which couples are going to be end game as yet other than Karen/Dan and most likely Naley. If you don't like then obviously don't read.**

**21 Months Later**

Brooke heard the familiar clatter of a breakfast tray coming her way and stretched lazily across the wide expanse of the king sized bed. She smiled to herself feeling the happy glow that emanated from her body. Lucas had been particularly fervent the previous night and today indulged in his Sunday morning ritual of delivering her breakfast in bed. It never failed to amuse her given that any other time of the week Lucas despised food in bed because of crumbs. But Sunday he always brought her breakfast in bed, which was romantic as well as practical from his point of view given that Brooke changed the sheets every Sunday, ensuring no remnants of their breakfast together would cause him unpleasant sensation when he adjourned to bed in the evening. Sunday morning breakfast in bed was a ritual that emerged almost as soon as Brooke had given birth to the twins, it wasn't until all the children were older though that Lucas joined her in bed after preparing breakfast. Once the children were old enough to occupy themselves for an hour of a Sunday morning Lucas had begun to join her. Time within a busy week made even more precious when she'd begun working for just the two of them, Brooke always felt it a sign of their strong marriage that they always, no matter how busy or distracted they were made time for one another, even if it was just this one hour a week. As the children had gotten into their mid teens the hour admittedly had stretched to two, perhaps longer if the mood took them.

Brooke had barely drunk her orange juice and ingested two mouthfuls of toast before Lucas began to lay butterfly kisses along her collarbone. As his hand massaged her breast she knew breakfast would be abandoned. She felt a swell of lust fizz in her stomach as his other hand flitted from caressing the top of one thigh to the other, careful not to touch her mound more than the accidental brush that had all of her nerve endings standing to attention. If one part of their relationship had stayed the same throughout the last 19 years it was this, they were as physical and hungry with one another now as they had been as teenagers. She loved the way he always seemed to find new joy at a body he'd long ago discovered the secrets to, her need grew and she drew him deeper to her, pressing her heels into his buttocks to urge him inside of her. He slid into her and as always she marvelled at how well they fit. His long, lean body covered hers and she felt possessed by him. She knew as she always did that she belonged to him, with him. As the waves of ecstasy stole over them both pushing them to the edge she knew only one thing, one word. Lucas!

Brooke lay back, Lucas was horizontal across the bed, his head resting on her surprisingly flat stomach given the three children. She idly smoothed his hair and felt a glow from his sigh of pleasure. Lucas Scott had been the first man she'd ever allowed into her heart, the first person even after the dismissal she'd always received from her parents he had become her centre. He soothed her soul without having to utter a single word. It seemed corny but Lucas completed her, he was the ying to her yang. He was broody and she cheery, together they balanced one another. She studied him as he lay at peace, both eyes closed deep in repose. He'd seemed a little withdrawn a few weeks ago, nothing unusual when he was struggling to write. She knew great joy when he returned to her like he had this past week as he always did. He rode the waves of frustration and came home to her, he called her his muse for when they were happy he could write.

"My husband, my lover, my friend." His eyes opened and considered her thoughtfully after she'd spoken aloud her thoughts.

"I do love you Brooke, please always know that as the truth even in the days when it may seem like I don't." She smiled benignly at him and brought herself up and over to place a soft kiss on his forehead. She fell back once more against the pillows. Her husband could say the most ridiculous things at times.

* * *

Brooke marched through the office aiming to give off her usual air of confidence despite the things racing through her mind. In just a few short weeks her little girl would be graduating high school, and this morning as both she and Lucas were preparing for work Natalie had dropped the bombshell that instead of taking up any of the college places she'd been offered she'd decided to go backpacking around Europe, Asia and Australia for at least a year – perhaps two. Lucas had been without a doubt the more furious of the two of them. Brooke had thought her husband may well keel over from a heart attack right then and there. Natalie clearly had planned the timing of her revelation. She had school and they both had work so nothing was discussed. Lucas had merely stated rather emphatically that she would be doing no such thing before banging his way out the house. Natalie may well have been able to convince Lucas to give her near enough everything she'd ever wanted but what she seemed not to have realised this time was that the exact same reason he always caved was the reason he would not where travelling was concerned. Natalie was his precious baby girl and there was no way Lucas would consent to the idea of her backpacking. Brooke herself might have been a little more willing to listen if it weren't for the fact she was planning on doing it alone.

She felt the low level sound of the office automatically shift her senses and despite the high tensions in the office due to the new weekly paper that had been started six months previous, a paper which had lower their figures considerably she felt calmer. The fact was Mitch had made a few cutbacks on the staff side of things, Brooke knew he hadn't wanted to but with their numbers so much lower he'd had no option. It certainly made things tense for the staff wondering whether their jobs were safe. It was a shame because their figures had soared over a year ago and Brooke had even had to take on an assistant managing editor to help her handle things her end. It was a fortunate thing to have happened though because it had meant Peyton's hard work had been rewarded. However the way things were Brooke wondered how much longer she could convince Mitch there was enough work for them both.

Peyton's return to Tree Hill had been a wonderful thing for Brooke. Haley was an amazing friend and Brooke obviously couldn't be without her, but the fact was Peyton allowed Brooke to be the slightly irresponsible girl she'd once been every now and then. Peyton lacked any real responsibilities in life and was determined to enjoy herself. Brooke loved sharing an office with her and hearing daily all the things she'd gotten up to. Peyton had broken up with Jake only months after moving back to Tree Hill, while she'd never gone into too much detail about it Brooke had the sneaking suspicion that the break up had been on the cards before Peyton's move. The result of the break up being Peyton would often have stories to tell Brooke of her single life, the men she dated, the men she slept with and basically how amazing her life was. Brooke had once broached the topic of settling down but Peyton had quickly quashed the conversation, children were a millstone around the neck and husbands nothing more than another child to care for – why bother with all that? It wasn't exactly how Brooke saw the world but since Peyton seemed more than happy with her life dating unsuitable men, working hard and managing to sell the occasional work of art Brooke was happy for her. She was wise enough to know that the life she had wasn't for everyone.

Brooke settled herself into her office and Millicent ran through the schedule for the day alongside any messages. Brooke frowned when she noticed Peyton was missing from her desk. She once more leafed through the messages Millie had left with her assuming one must be from Peyton. When she found none she felt a mild feeling of worry emerge. Peyton hadn't taken a sick day in the whole time she'd been here, and even if she were sick Brooke knew she wouldn't not call. She dialled her home number and after she spent several minutes listening to it ring called Peyton's cell instead – which went straight to voicemail. Before she could continue trying to contact her friend there was a knock on the door. The person who entered only complied more worry into her head. Lucas had not yet shown up to work today. He'd stormed out the house before she had and she'd assumed he'd headed to the office. The worry for Peyton erased from her mind temporarily as she worried about her husband. She knew he was upset about Natalie's sudden plans, or sudden to them anyway, but it was unlike Lucas to shirk his responsibilities and she worried that he'd done something stupid – or perhaps he had indeed had the heart attack she'd thought he might have. The door opened to her office and she jumped up hoping it was him. It was Peyton.

"I'm so glad you're here. I'm having to give all my meetings today to you, Lucas has gone awol after Natalie revealed a rather considerable surprise to us this morning and I'm worried about him." Peyton smiled reassuringly at her.

"He's fine Brooke, we rode up in the elevator together." Relief pierced her heart and she sagged back down into her chair. "He mentioned that Natalie had decided she wanted to go backpacking." Brooke's eyes shot up to Peyton. She was mildly surprised her husband had mentioned it to anyone. She'd assumed he'd ignore it, not tell anyone and convince Natalie it was a silly idea.

"Yes he wasn't too happy about it, his face almost went purple I thought he'd have a heart attack. Of course he put his foot down and said no she it will be left for me to mediate when we're all at home later." Peyton frowned at her.

"Maybe you shouldn't mediate Brooke. I think it's time you realised that Lucas is your husband and it might be nice if you actually supported him." Brooke felt hurt that Peyton could take such a view. Brooke did support her husband, but when it came to the children they sometimes had differing views. She sometimes thought they both were guilty of cosseting them. While the boys had certainly flourished at college it didn't mean it was the right thing for Natalie. She herself hadn't attended college and she thought she was managing in the world just fine. Besides the likelihood was that Natalie would meet someone at college with whom she had a future. She'd get a job once she left, settle down and later have children. Which would leave her exactly where Brooke was now. No experience of the wider world. Fortunately in some ways Brooke had had children very early which left her plenty of time now to explore wider horizons, Natalie might not have that opportunity if she put off children to focus on her career. Brooke didn't think it would hurt for her to see the world, though perhaps backpacking alone wasn't wise. Brooke was almost certain that if they looked into it properly they could arrange something that would allow Natalie to see the world as she wanted but for her to do it in a way in which she was safe. Something that would allow Brooke to sleep at night.

"I support Lucas when it counts Peyton – you should know that you're my best friend. But the children sometimes need me to champion their corner." Peyton shook her head and settled over the documents on her desk, but Brooke felt unsettled and couldn't let it go.

"You wouldn't understand Peyton you're not a mother." Brooke was surprised by the slightly hurt expression on her friend's face. She acknowledged her remark was a little bitchy but she was of the opinion that Peyton was firmly against entering motherhood, so Brooke couldn't understand quite why she was so prickly. Brooke felt a shiver down her spine at the look in her friend's eyes and the tone of her voice as she replied.

"Perhaps not but I do know a thing or two about keeping marriages happy – I have been the other woman before you know." Brooke was shocked. She knew Peyton toyed around with men and had heard the exploits but to Brooke's mind marriage vows were sacred, and while the married man was certainly at fault she abhorred women who allowed themselves to become entangled with a man who belonged to someone else – that her friend could be one of those women shocked Brooke to the core. "Don't look so shocked Brooke, it was L.A. it was unfashionable to be monogamous."

"Why bother making vows if no one has any intention of keeping them?" Peyton laughed at her.

"Better to keep a vow and be miserable than break it and be happy."

"Not at all, I'm not saying anyone should stay in an unhappy marriage – I just think that as a mark of respect and common decency perhaps you should leave the marriage before sleeping with someone else." Peyton's eyes narrowed and Brooke felt she was mocking her with just that look.

"I'll bear that in mind Brooke." Brooke shook her head and bent to give her attention to her work, but she couldn't help the mild disgust she felt at her best friend's attitude – it certainly wasn't the Peyton she'd always known. The awkwardness of that encounter remained with them throughout the day and instead of the normal chatter between the two women there remained a silence neither tried to cut through.

* * *

The tension within her home had reached an unbearable point, it was hard to believe that just four mornings ago, Sunday morning she and her husband had united together as at one with each other as ever and now were barely speaking. Natalie had destroyed their happy equilibrium with her announcement. Natalie was not backing down nor was Lucas despite how Brooke tried to convince him there was a workable solution to make them all happy. Natalie was staying with a friend this evening and so Brooke had made the effort to leave work on time, knowing Lucas would be back from his meeting a little after six she had planned to make his favourite meal, to pacify him as best she could and restore a little harmony to her home. Her plans were dashed however by her husband's tardiness. It was almost seven now and no word from him. She'd kept the meal warm in the cooling oven but by now it would be dry and not worth serving. She knew Lucas was angry with her for not stamping her foot down like he did. But she was well aware that when necessary their daughter could be as stubborn as he could be. Natalie had made plain her plans and despite her beloved father disapproving she was set on travelling. Natalie had led a charmed life until this point and Brooke wondered how she planned on surviving during her travels if Lucas stayed so against it as he was – refusing her money. True she'd said from the start that she didn't want his money but Brooke felt strongly it was a pipe dream to travel on her own steam.

She heard the door open and waited for her husband to make his way to the kitchen. He looked drawn, almost haggard even and her heart fell at the sight. It was clear to her that the worry over Natalie's plans was making him many years older than he was. Her anger and frustration at him melted away, as it always did, Lucas felt things so deeply, a man torn by his emotions and it was clear to his wife of eighteen years that this was sucking the life from him. She stood and pulled out a chair for him, poured him a drink that it appeared he badly needed. Unusually for him he gulped it back in one and she knew the situation was draining him more than he'd say. He looked so utterly tired, he reached out and let his hand cup her cheek before it fell to his side, a sad wistful look settling upon his features.

"My beautiful Brooke," she smiled softly and encouragingly at him, it was clear he was ready to open up to her. "I love you more than I ever dreamt I would when I first met you properly." She almost laughed at that, their first real encounter being when she stripped naked in the back of his car. He wouldn't even look. She'd admired and respected him right from that second. "Brooke you know I'd never intentionally hurt you. But it must be faced now, it's clear that we've become separate in our desires. Our needs no longer harmonise with one another." She frowned at a loss to understand what he was saying. "Brooke we settled down so young and only now I realise there is a world out there neither of us have had the chance to explore." She rolled her eyes as she finally understood his words.

"Oh my love I know we did, but we've already discussed how we'll travel once Natalie has graduated."

"No Brooke that's not what I meant. I need freedom Brooke, freedom to explore what the world has to offer. I feel suffocated within these walls." The shred of pain weeded its way into her heart at his words. Suffocated within the home she'd so lovingly created over so many years together. "Brooke I will always love you, however I have fallen in love with someone else. Someone who can offer me the chance at life I've never had before. We were forced into a serious relationship and a marriage due to circumstance, never allowing ourselves to explore others as children do." The words swam in her head. Her husband, the man she adored loved another.

"How long?" He looked perplexed by her question and she felt sick to her stomach, the very look upon his face told her that it had been going on for a long time now.

"A little over a year. Brooke, at first I thought it was nothing, I loved you and she was a passing attraction, a flirtation with a life I'd never experienced. But now I realise I love her, and that life is a real possibility with her. She reminds me of you so much, the person you were before the children." She felt rage then, wanting to curse him. He was blaming her for changing but how could she not have done, she'd bore three children for him. While he was off working and fulfilling his dream she'd sacrificed hers in order to raise a family, their family and support him through his best and worst moments. Now they were approaching the time where they could enjoy one another and the world unhampered by responsibilities he was deserting her. Brooke was well aware her once taut, cheerleader body had morphed over the years. True she was not a large woman, nor was she without tone. But she was bright enough to know that if a woman could offer an uncomplicated life full of freedom then her body would not be plagued by the remnants of pregnancies.

"Is she younger than me?" Brooke had never once contemplated that Lucas would subscribe to the older man's desire for a pretty, young girl on his arm and yet it seemed a distinct possibility now given that she'd truly believed they would grow old together. Her husband seemed a little young for a midlife crisis and yet given that they'd done most things earlier than others their age perhaps it was indeed the cause of this.

"No she isn't excessively younger than you, maybe a few months nothing significant." Brooke wondered if she'd have been able to understand this more if he was leaving her for a younger woman, that he felt so besotted by a woman her own age, enough to hurt her like he was doing seemed worse somehow. "Brooke you must know we've been drifting apart a little." She felt the shreds of anger coursing through her veins and it gave her something to focus on that would stop her teetering into the gulf of pain awaiting her.

"Don't rewrite our history Lucas to make it suit your actions. Less than a week ago we were as happy as we've ever been, you made love to me the very fact that it was a loving act signifies to me that this is ludicrous."

"Brooke I don't deny I love you, but there is no passion anymore, nor do we connect as people. Perhaps we never really did, after all who would have predicted we would have a lasting relationship." She felt slighted by his words, he seemed to imply that were it not for her pregnancy they would have ended their relationship as quickly as they'd started it. The startling truth was that perhaps this was exactly how he felt. She was well aware at how he'd despised his father back then for abandoning his pregnant mother, she now questioned whether Lucas only stayed with her because she was pregnant. If so their entire marriage was based on a lie. For she truly loved him and had believed that he felt the same. He was ripping her entire world from under her feet and she felt so utterly lost. "Obviously the children will have to be told Brooke, now I would understand perfectly if you'd prefer I spoke to them."

"No!" Despite the confusion, anger and agony she felt she knew one thing. Lucas would not destroy this time for their daughter. "Natalie graduates in a few weeks, I won't have you destroying her last few moments of childhood. If you absolutely must leave then at least give her that time. Say you've got to spend time in New York, we can fool her if we try."

"No Brooke, I will not lie to her. She's old enough to be made aware of the truth, and if we leave it she won't have time to consider the options now she knows the way things are." She stared at him wide eyed understanding why now, after months of lies and cheating he was choosing this moment to come clean and in that second of understanding she was able to despise him.

"You think this will make her stay don't you. That's why you won't wait. You think she'll choose a college nearby so she can check on me. You think she won't go off round the world if you desert me." She knew him well enough to know that whatever he said the look on his face revealed she was right.

"Peyton seemed to think it would be wise if Natalie knew what was to occur before she made final plans to leave." Peyton? The name shot her to pieces and she saw immediately that Lucas knew he'd made an error.

"When did you speak to MY best friend about this?" He shifted almost guilty and she remembered back to the morning Natalie had told them her plans – both Lucas and Peyton had been late to work. But it couldn't possibly be what it appeared to be.

"I rather thought that after all the years Haley had become your best friend. You have so much more in common with her given being a wife and mother." It hurt her even more than she was already hurting to know that he considered Peyton a worldly woman and she, despite her career success in the last six years was still defined by her role as his wife and his children's mother.

"That's off topic Lucas."

"Brooke, we certainly did not plan to do this to you. I was delighted about her return simply because you loved her. But she has breathed new life into me and what started as innocent flirtation resulted in something meaningful between us. I love her Brooke." Brooke stumbled back and her hand groped from the counter to steady her. Her husband's betrayal increased at the realisation that the woman who was family, her almost sister was the one who was taking him away from her.

"You plan to live together?" He smiled softly and the knife twisted deeper into her heart as she realised it had been a long time since she'd received that smile, and now it wasn't for her.

"Actually I shall be renting a hotel room for the moment. Peyton likes her space and her independence so we're not making any move like that yet." She didn't know what hurt more, the fact he was leaving her for someone else and wasn't even planning on moving in with the other woman – or the fact that he one day saw himself living with the other woman. "I realise this has been an awful lot to take in Brooke. I think it's probably best if I packed a few things now and left." He waited a few minutes for a response before disappearing. She had no idea how long it took him to collect what he needed, she heard his tread down the stairs. She heard him call her name from the entrance hall. But she didn't move, she could not watch him leave her. As the door closed another dreadful thought accosted her – how on earth would she share an office with that woman tomorrow, or any day after that. She stood and went upstairs to Lucas' study, she sunk down into his chair and used his phone to dial the number she'd searched for.

"Mitch Langton." The voice was sharp despite the late hour.

"It's Brooke. Lucas left me tonight – for Peyton."

"Shit Brooke, I knew they were fooling around but I never thought he'd leave you." Her heart was sliced once more and she gasped. "Geez Brooke I figured you must have had some idea, it's a small town and well they weren't too discreet at times." Brooke tried not to think of the humiliation of being the last to know of her husband's infidelity.

"I'll have to fire her Mitch."

"No can do, that's a lawsuit we can't afford Brooke."

"You can't expect me to share an office with her."

"You promoted her Brooke, you gave her everything she has at the paper. But without cause you can't take it away."

"You do realise it's me or her right?"

"That's your decision Brooke, I can't make you work with her. But I sure as hell won't let you fire her." She felt bereft, her husband had betrayed her and left her, her best friend had stolen her husband now it appeared she would steal her job by default. Where Peyton had no shame and was clearly able to stomach being duplicitous and work together Brooke knew without question she was unable to be in the same room as her, let alone work with one another. Her life as she knew it was effectively ended this night as her husband and job went to the same woman.

"If I promise there will be no lawsuit will you at least issue redundancy for me? I know you've been doing them lately and we both know there was no longer enough work for both of us." She didn't say the other thoughts which plagued her, if she knew there wasn't the work for them both any longer why would Mitch not issue Peyton with redundancy. She felt stung that her years of hard work held little favour for her, the fact was Lucas had gotten her the position at the paper because he and Mitch were close. It seemed clear to her that while not overt Mitch would stand by his friend.

"I'll see what can get put together Brooke, but there's notice to be given."

"I'm owed holiday Mitch, I won't be back into the office send the details here."

"Okay Brooke, I'm sure you'll be fine. You're very good at what you do." That was the goodbye she received. True she was good at what she did, but sadly there wasn't really much opportunity to do that in Tree Hill. She opened the bottom drawer of the desk and found exactly what she knew would be there. An open bottle of scotch. While she despised the taste on normal occasions she gulped it back straight from the bottle. Right now taste was of little consequence, right now she wanted oblivion.

* * *

The ringing of the phone brought her round and she ached, she passed out in Lucas' study, the chair that had seemed soft and pliable the previous evening when she fell into it was unforgiving in sleep. Her head pounded and her mouth felt as though it were lined with sawdust. Her hand reached out and took the phone from its cradle.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded raspier than usual and she tried hard to focus on stopping the room from swimming.

"Mom, it's Aaron. Dad called this morning. He said he'd left you, that he's fallen in love with Peyton and left you for her. He sounded worried mom. He said Mitch had called him saying you'd resigned from your job. He said that he didn't think you'd do something so drastic." Brooke almost laughed. Once again her husband's naivety surprised her. Quite what he thought she'd do about working with his whore she had no idea. Clearly he imagined things would remain exactly as they were except for whose bed he spent the evenings in. "Mom are you okay?"

"Better than I shall be after telling Natalie the news later."

"Yeah she'll be crushed. She won't like it one bit mom. I can't say that I like what he's done to you." Aaron was always the peacemaker. Sam was mischievous and Natalie demanded, Aaron was her mild mannered boy, the one who like her tried to fix the problems and fights within their family. But the trait she'd always admired she felt a flash of resentment for. She wanted her children to be on her side, not to be rational like Aaron was clearly trying to be. "Mom, Sam wants to talk to you, I'll speak again when he's done." She heard jostling as the phone was passed over.

"What an ass mom!" She smiled despite herself at her son, everyone assumed with his stubborn nature he was like his father. The truth was Aaron was her double now, but she was a different person to the girl she'd been and Sam very much reminded her of her former self. His words were rarely guarded and he spoke without thinking, causing hurt that he never meant given his warm heart. She'd taken special care to ensure he'd never felt as unloved during his youth as she had knowing how his nature would be self destructive if that happened. "Honestly – and her! What a total bitch! Call Mitch and tell him you aren't leaving mom, don't let them win." While it may seem like they were winning to her son to Brooke she was walking away with her head held high. It wasn't simply that she couldn't bear to work with her so called friend, it was the pitying looks she would undoubtedly receive, the fact Lucas was still the most well loved staff member would haunt her and while the decision the previous evening had been hasty she knew cutting her ties to the past was the best for her.

"They're not Sammy," Brooke could envision the blush covering her son's cheeks at her words. She'd not called him Sammy in years and knew he'd be mortified about it now. "I don't know what the future holds sweetheart, right now I'm still struggling to understand it all. But I have to believe that even though it doesn't seem like it now this is what was meant to happen and that at the end of it all I'll find big and better things." There seemed little point in telling him how truly devastated she really was. Both boys were all but adults now and the last thing either needed was being forced into listening to their parents' marriage fall to pieces.

"Mom you are too good as usual. Maybe you should stand up for yourself every now and then, don't let dad use you as a doormat, it's time to stand up to him. I mean you've spent my entire life mediating between us all and making him happy, now he's leaving you for someone else and you're still doing that." Brooke could hear whispered anger and the phone being tugged away from Sam.

"Mom just ignore him, he sounds off without thinking. If you want to be dignified and silent about this then don't let anyone tell you not to be. You're not some cheap woman who brawls in the street. Dad is in the wrong here and we all know it, even he knows it. There's nothing wrong with having a peaceful nature mom, what's the point in the emotional upheaval of a fight now, show dad exactly the type of special, amazing, lovely, kind and dignified person you are. I'm certain that this is a blip, he's having a brief moment of insanity and soon he'll realise just exactly how much you mean to him and he'll be crawling back to you. Stay strong mom." Brooke couldn't say exactly what the thought of Lucas wanting her back meant to her. Despite the pain he was causing her she did still love him. She'd always thought that if anyone ever betrayed her that would be it but now he'd done it she had no idea what she would do if he did want to return. Though it was hypothetical, he'd only been gone a day, just a night in fact. The most important thing was ensuring the boys were okay and then speaking to Natalie, her heart broke for her baby girl. Natalie idolised her father and it would devastate her that he would have an affair. Brooke did question whether Natalie would blame her, that she was not enough but discarded the thought, daddy's girl she may be but she was also an adult – almost – and well aware that Brooke loved Lucas.

"Aaron sweetheart I don't really know what I'm thinking or doing right now. I know I cannot step foot in that office again for a multitude of reasons, but beyond that I'm still processing it all."

"I get it mom, look we need to get going we've both got early classes to get to. When are you going to tell Natalie?"

"She's going straight to school from her friend's house. She stayed over last night. I won't even see her until after class."

"Okay then, we'll call tonight to check on you. Will you be okay?" The question had an infinite number of possible answers and yet she couldn't actually pick one. She had no idea if she'd be okay. She was at sea right now, but their sake she promised she'd be fine. Her heart was heavy as she replaced the receiver into the cradle. She ran her hand across the smooth surface of Lucas' laptop. She was surprised he'd left it, yet she took it as a sign he'd be returning soon. It eased her mind to think that. She reached out and took hold of the photo sitting on his desk, it was of her and the children at Siesta Key. They'd taken the vacation when money was not as readily available as it was now. The boys had been five and Natalie three the first time they'd gone. They'd decided to drive, both to save money and because Brooke wasn't convinced that subjecting other travellers to her three troublemaking children for a flight was a good way of starting a vacation. They'd started out after dinner time because Brooke knew the children would be better travelling on full stomachs, besides she'd planned a one night stopover in Jacksonville. The journey had been awful, after almost two full days on the road by the time they got to Siesta Key the kid were going crazy. And to top it off it was raining. They'd managed just half an hour in the hotel room before she and Lucas were ready to kill them. So she'd instructed them to get into their swimwear. She took them down to the beach despite the rain, the temperature was high in spite of the rain and she figured once at the beach they'd have gotten wet anyway. That first day of rain gave them chance to explore the beach, to find their own place that they spent every day at after that. The picture sitting on Lucas' desk was from the last day of the vacation, the day of the Sand Castle Competition. The boys had been determined that their sand castle would be the best there'd ever been. They'd managed to get fourth place that year, Lucas had taken the picture of her and the children celebrating their near victory. The boys had begged to come back the same time next year so they could win. The following year they came second, in fact they came second three years running. The final year in the ten and under group they won their section of the contest. They'd made the same trip every year until the boys were sixteen and too old for 'kids' vacations like that. Once trips like that were done she and Lucas had decided that if they were lucky enough to have grandchildren they'd take them every year like they had their own children. They'd been so happy then, it hurt to know that if she and Lucas had grandchildren they'd never do anything with them together.

In fact her family would never do anything together again. All of the people in her extended family whom she loved were in truth Lucas' family. This left her questioning where exactly her place was, or was her place within the family exactly the same as the one with Lucas and work, was her place within the family now Peyton's as well. Her heart dipped at the thought that Peyton would be sat in her place in Karen's dining room at Thanksgiving, at Haley's at Christmas. She wondered whether there would be any point in her usual New Years Eve party if she no longer was a Scott. They'd all followed the pattern for years – since Karen came home in fact. Karen always hosted Thanksgiving, Haley hosted Christmas and she because while her cooking skills had improved she'd always be behind the others hosted the New Years Eve party. Her pain knew no boundaries as she considered just how much her life was about to change because Lucas loved another.

With a morbid fascination like when you pass a car accident and cannot look away Brooke found herself heading into the guest bedroom, to the bookshelf which housed every photo album her family had. Admittedly there were not all that many recent pictures, taking photographs had always seemed more important when the children were younger. The most recent ones were of Lucas' birthday the previous month. The day had gone by relatively unnoticed, thirty six was not an especially important birthday and the boys had called but not visited – too busy. Natalie had gotten a camera for her birthday two months previously. She had a passion for photography so the camera had been top of the range and hugely expensive. She'd insisted on snapping pictures while Lucas opened his presents in the morning. There was one or two from the evening before Brooke and Lucas had gone for a meal. Lucas had been late so the photos were not their best. She was annoyed as she'd insisted he be home on time, and he seemed distracted. In retrospect it was clear he'd been with Peyton. The thought he'd rather have spent the evening with her rather than his wife brought a fresh wave of pain.

She flicked further back, to Christmas. The affair would have been established prior to Christmas, months prior. She examined the pictures and found nothing. She and the children looking happy, the children and Lucas. She stared in his eyes as if they held some clue as to what he'd been thinking then. He looked exactly the same as he had always been. She went back further, seeking something from the time she estimated the affair could have started. Again there was nothing, there was nothing to show that Lucas had been unhappy, nothing to show he was looking elsewhere and wanting another. Before she knew it she was back at photos taken three years ago, photos taken of them at the party Haley had thrown to celebrate their 15 year wedding anniversary. One picture held her attention above the rest. It was of just her and Lucas. Her heart constricted at the look on his face. The love he had for held written across his features and it broke her heart as she tried to remember the last time she'd seen that look. Her heart shattered further at the realisation that it would now be the look he gave to Peyton.

"Mom?" She looked up to see Natalie stood in the doorway. "Why are you crying?" Brooke hadn't realised she was, her hand rose to softly touch her face finding it wet. She closed the album in her hands and laid it beside the others she looked through on the bed surrounding her. She tried a small smile to reassure her daughter.

"Come sit with me sweetheart." Natalie looked scared and worried – and much younger than her 18 years. But she complied and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed beside Brooke. Brooke reached out to push stray hair behind her ears. Where the boys took their colouring from her Natalie was the image of the golden American girl with her icy blue eyes and soft blonde locks. With a stab Brooke realised that if she were out with Lucas and Peyton no one would realise she was only Lucas' daughter and not Peyton's. She pushed the thought aside to focus on her daughter. This she knew would devastate her. She took Natalie's hand between hers and looked her in the eyes.

"Mom you're kind of scaring me."

"Natalie, you're an adult now and so I won't sugar coat what I've got to tell you. Last night your father informed me that he no longer wanted to be with me. He has fallen in love with another woman and has decided that our marriage isn't what he wants anymore. Now obviously there will be some big changes over the next few months but none of those will have much effect on you because you'll be off travelling soon." Brooke was absolute in her resolution that Natalie would still travel, Lucas may have timed his bombshell to destruct believing Natalie would be motivated to stay but Brooke was as determined to see her go. Lucas' wants would not taint Natalie's dreams. Natalie sat for a while in a stunned silence. Then she slowly stood and finally turned to look at Brooke. Before she could say anything Brooke ploughed on. "Also I've resigned my job. I couldn't continue to work at the paper alongside so many who knew of your father's activities this past year, and beside the woman he has left me for. I shall not be going back at all I'll be using my holiday as my notice period. Natalie you should know that it's your Aunt Peyton." Natalie nodded.

"Well firstly I think we better drop the Aunt don't you. It seems a little ridiculous given she only got the title for being your best friend, a position I'm sure she no longer holds. Secondly I hope he rots in hell. Her too." As a deserted wife Brooke relished her daughter's vilification of her father, as a parent she knew she had to convince Natalie that it was okay to forgive him.

"Natalie please don't say that, he's still your father and this doesn't affect how much he adores you children. It's me he no longer loves that doesn't change how he feels for you all." Natalie's anger blazed clearly in her eyes.

"No mom, I'm most certainly not ready to hear you defend him like you always do. Just because you love him doesn't mean you should always defend his indefensible acts. That's all you ever do, he's never wrong. It's like you're scared of standing up to him and I just don't know why." Brooke had never thought too hard about what Natalie referred to but Natalie was perfectly correct in what she said. Brooke did always defer to Lucas, she always backed down and allowed him to have the final say. She was scared of standing up to him, of offering a differing opinion simply because she'd always known that she was not good enough for him, she just didn't ever want him to know that. But now it appeared he did.

"Natalie I'm not defending him by any means. I'm just saying that you can't hate him when he's done this to me and not you."

"No he's done this to all of us, he's destroyed OUR family. It might be you he left but in the bigger picture he walked out on all of us. Things will never be the same you have to see that much mom. I do hate him, I have to – because you don't." Again her daughter was correct, despite everything Brooke couldn't bring herself to hate him. She loved him too much to hate him. "And as for her, I hope he realises that I shall never have anything to do with her." Natalie shook her head and Brooke could read the despair in her. "You don't even hate her do you?"

"It isn't that simple, my head knows what they've done but my heart that has loved your father for nineteen years and Peyton longer hasn't got the message just yet. It will take time for me to understand and comprehend just what they've done." Brooke knew she'd never be able to share with Natalie why Lucas had decided now was the time. Natalie would never forgive him for being so manipulative. Brooke knew her words were true, in time she may well hate Lucas and Peyton, but now was not that time. She was hurt by their actions but she couldn't stop loving them in an instant whatever they'd done. Her heart was not that easily swayed, perhaps when she'd had a little longer to allow the past twenty four hours to sink.

"I don't want him at my graduation and I shall phone him now and tell him."

"No! Natalie don't be so rash in making such a big decision. Graduation is almost three weeks away, in three weeks you'll have had time to speak with him properly. For things to have sunk in." Natalie ignored her and flipped open her cell phone. Brooke doubted there was much point reasoning with her daughter as she was. Let her make the decision now, let Lucas understand just how much he was hurting his children and Brooke would reason with her in a day or so. She knew Natalie would regret barring her father from her graduation for years if Brooke couldn't make her see sense. Brooke almost let out a sigh of relief when Natalie slammed the phone closed, clearly there had been no answer.

"Probably too busy screwing his whore!" Brooke knew she admonish her daughter's use of language but found she couldn't make herself care enough. The knock at the door stopped Brooke having the opportunity to answer. Wearily she stood, a part of her felt hesitant to open the door. She imagined either Karen or Haley on the other side. Lucas would likely have told them both by now and she wasn't quite ready to face them yet. Sympathy was not something Brooke had ever welcomed.

Her heart jumped into her throat as she opened the door, despite her thoughts earlier that she wouldn't know what to do if Lucas asked to come home seeing him stood before her all she wanted to hear from him was that he'd made a mistake. He looked different from her Lucas though. His neat hair seemed a little messed, the casual shirt had been replaced with a t-shirt with some band scrawled across it. The designer jeans replaced by faded ones. This man was Peyton's Lucas, and she knew he was not here to ask to come home.

"Did you come for your laptop?" She was surprised he'd even left it.

"I wanted to tell Natalie."

"She already knows, I just told her. Have you told the rest of the family?"

"Brooke it was my place to explain things to her and no I wanted the children to know first." Brooke felt a flash of irritation.

"She's as much my daughter as yours, she came home and I was upset I couldn't stall her even if I had known you were planning on coming." He looked a little ashamed and she felt a surge of something akin to joy. Like Natalie had pointed out less than half an hour ago she never stood her ground with Lucas. Before Lucas could say anything however Natalie was flying down the stairs and into the entrance hall. Brooke stepped back to allow Lucas inside and instead Natalie was between the pair hurling herself, fists flying at Lucas. He stumbled back in shock. Brooke could see him wince as Natalie's fists hit his chest.

"I hate you!" Natalie repeated the words over and Brooke almost felt sorry for Lucas. The look on his face showed his hurt at Natalie's reaction. Brooke gently pulled her daughter away and placed herself between father and daughter.

"Natalie please let me explain. I can't help that I fell in love with Peyton but I still adore you as much as I always have." The coldness in her voice Brooke knew would near destroy her husband.

"Well I no longer adore you the same as I always have. In fact until you see sense and leave that witch I don't want to see you. I don't want you near me and I don't want you at my graduation. As far as I'm concerned you're as good as dead to me." She stormed away and Brooke faintly heard the sound of her door being closed. Lucas was grey and looked bereft. While she was anger and hurt by his actions her empathy allowed her to go to him. She ushered him into the kitchen and placed a small glass of whisky in his hand. He swallowed it in one before looking at her.

"I'll talk to her when things aren't so raw. She will calm down Lucas, you know how tempestuous she is."

"Dead to her." His eyes rose to meet Brooke's and she saw the tears gathering in them.

"It won't last, it's not the first time she's stormed away from you in anger. It's just less common an occurrence now. She speaks before she thinks. She loves you Lucas but this has been a huge shock for her."

"Peyton thought I should tell the children because then they'd get my side. You wouldn't be able to twist things. But regardless of what words you use the facts are the same aren't they? The facts are what have made my little girl hate me." Brooke felt a flash of annoyance at Peyton, how dare she insinuate that Brooke would turn her children against Lucas. She found it harder and harder to believe that Peyton she'd known in childhood was the same as the woman who returned to Tree Hill almost two years ago. "I didn't think you'd leave the paper Brooke, how will you live?"

"We're hardly short of money are we Luke. Granted it's not all mine but there's enough for me to keep going for a while yet. I haven't really thought anything through yet – it's not even been a full day yet and I've just been...well I'll think of something." The truth was the financial and employment situation was the last thing on Brooke's mind. Lucas Eugene Scott had been her entire world for almost twenty years now, coping without him seemed almost beyond her.

"I suppose we'll have to sort through everything soon Brooke, get our affairs in order." Brooke turned away from him then, he seemed so unaffected by the talk of the dissolution of their lives together. The detached way he discussed things hurt her more than she thought possible at this point. "And of course we'll have to get the money sorted for Natalie's college fees. I hope she hadn't already turned down her offers of acceptance." Hurt gave way to anger then and she spun back to him.

"No need Lucas she's going travelling – you can't have forgotten." He looked surprised for a second.

"Surely here, nearby is better given the new situation."

"She's angry enough with you as it is Luke, so I won't tell her that you're trying to use your affair as a reason to keep her close by. But believe me she's going if I have to drag her to the airport and strap her on the plane myself. I thought it was a good thing for her before but even better now. And to be honest putting continents between the pair of you while she gets used to the new situation is probably best for her. She won't have you harassing her to forgive you. I'll convince her to let you go to her graduation – but you will not try and persuade her to stay here. Either out of guilt for leaving me after you have or any other reason. Is that clear Lucas?"

"It's not safe for her Brooke."

"It will be perfectly safe. I'm arranging her trip for her, she'll be staying in cheap but decent places and I'm going to offer to pay for Lily to go with her, and Jamie too if he wants to. I know it's late in the year but they can defer their places if they want to go. I think it will be good for her to get a little life experience before going to college because if she doesn't do it now she won't do. She'll end up like me."

"I'll be over the moon if she's half the woman you are Brooke." Though the words were meant as a compliment they stung instead. The insinuation being that she was such a good woman that half of her was an achievement for others, however the fact was she was not good enough - clearly.

"Better to be the woman Peyton is though."

"Brooke I do love you, but Peyton is different."

"I don't want to hear about it Lucas. I think it's best if you leave now and I'll get Natalie to call you in a few days when she's calmed down. So long as you understand my terms." He stood and nodded stiffly at her.

"I won't object if she's still set on it and she allows me to come to her graduation." He was almost out the kitchen before he turned back to her. "Brooke it would kill me if I wasn't there to see my baby girl graduate. Please just make sure she knows that, and knows how much I love her."

"She's well aware of both things already Luke – it's why she's doing this. She wants to hurt you because what you're doing is hurting her." He nodded and left, Brooke sank down exhausted into the stool at the breakfast bar. How on earth had her life become such a mess in the space of a day? Before she had a chance t reflect too much on that particular question her cell began to vibrate on the surface of the table. She knew it would be her boys. She gave Aaron a quick run through of the events of the day – he like her was well aware that given time Natalie would be talked round, Sam however had nothing but praise for his impetuous sister. Brooke was hardly surprised. Sam was an amiable young man and wouldn't have the strength in him to be so forthright with his opinion whether it matched Natalie's or not. She did feel reassured to know however that term would be over and her boys home for the summer the following week. With them home and the preparations for Natalie's graduation and subsequent trip Brooke knew she would have things to distract her from the drama in her life. Besides which she loved having her three babies under the same roof. If Natalie did go travelling it may well be more than a year before that happened again. The boys would both be in the final year of their degree by which point, with Aaron heading off to Law School and Sam to Medical School. It would be the first time in their lives they'd been split up. Brooke knew by then all three children would be scattered throughout the States, if Natalie enjoyed any particular place she visited she may well settle further afield. Brooke had always anticipated this being the case, well except Natalie going abroad. The problem was she'd always had Lucas by her side in her vision of the future. To explore with her and keep her company when the children were gone.

She tried her best to stem the agony in her heart, she questioned whether she could have been different, done something that would have kept Lucas' attention firmly on her and away from her best friend. She tried to understand why exactly her best friend had found it necessary to steal her husband. Peyton knew how much Brooke loved Lucas. She had to have known, sure Brooke was more than happy to divulge the little problems and things that annoyed her, but Peyton couldn't possibly have thought the fact that Lucas was nigh on incapable of checking to see whether the items in the dishwasher were clean or not before putting his dirty things in was reason for Brooke not to adore him, to worship him and love him so completely that it sometimes hurt. Had she not made it clear just how much he meant to her, to Peyton or even to him? She knew without doubt that it simply could not be merely physical, she doubted anyone that had been married for the length of time they had would still be a passionate and experimental as they were. Which led to the conclusion that their betrayal must be emotional, an infinitely more painful thought. She imagined it would be easier to forgive a passing, superficial attraction but the fact was clear to her now that her husband _loved _Peyton. His hopes and dreams now lay with her. An emotional betrayal hurt so much deeper because Brooke had always thought that Lucas had never loved another, nor would he ever. She'd always taken for granted that he felt the same for her as she did for him. Clearly that was not the case. Lucas' feelings had not run as deep, now the man she considered her perfect fit, her other half had found his other half elsewhere.


End file.
